If we say “sign stealing” to you, you probably think of baseball. The Houston Astros beating a bat inside of a trash can in the dugout to let hitters know which pitch is coming. Big time, national news.
But sign stealing scandals occur in small-town America as well, especially during election season.
In most cases, campaign-sign shenanigans are not a big deal. A campaign sign might disappear from a front lawn or two. Or a campaign sign might be defaced. Enterprising vandals might even make snarky stickers to slap on their opponents’ signs.
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But every now and then a stolen sign can become a focus of outrage, like when the sign stealer is a member of the local school board, and he is caught in the act, brazenly and inelegantly, on video.
The saga in question began when signs opposing a controversial school bond measure began disappearing in a quiet little town. A prominent opponent of the measure was determined to get to the bottom of the serial disappearances, and she staked out a city park, camera in hand, waiting until a potential sign stealer hove into view.
Sure enough, along came the school board member, a prominent and vocal supporter of the bond measure. The small, silver-haired, shorts-wearing man, moving in businesslike fashion, pulled one sign off a fence and another off a pole, tucked them under his arm, and continued on his way.
It was all done with the breezy air of a garden gnome on his way to work. (This happened back before every piece of video appeared on YouTube, or got screen-grabbed, so we’re sorry we don’t have the video for you.)
Anyway, the local police got involved, deciding they could have a case of misdemeanor sign theft on their hands.
Prosecutors, showing that properly employed prosecutorial discretion is really just another form of common sense, shrugged. Apparently it isn’t a crime to remove a campaign sign from public property. Oh well.
For his part, the impish figure at the vortex of the event was unrepentant, at first. He said that he had merely removed campaign signs that weren’t supposed to be in a public park in the first place. He was doing the public a favor by removing them.
Then, as time went on, he reversed course. He spoke before his school board colleagues, expressing sincere regret over any embarrassment he caused to friends, loved ones and the board members themselves.
He shouldn’t have messed with the other side’s signs.
He added that, as part of “a healing process,” he hoped for an apology from the other side, for placing campaign signs on public property in the first place. Half an apology is sometimes worse than none.
When all was said and done, the bond measure failed, putting an end to any acrimony concerning local school bonds. We’re kidding. The acrimony continued.
So what are the lessons from this episode of sign stealing?
First, unless the signs are on your property and you didn’t put them there – leave the signs alone. Everyone has a cell phone with a camera (and video!) and someone will see you taking the signs that aren’t yours. The photos (or video!) could end-up on-line, in the press, or God forbid – on the desk of a local prosecutor. Please, just leave the signs alone.
Second, if the signs disappear or are being defaced, that’s going to become an issue in itself and draw attention to your opponents. Why would you want to do this?
Finally, they’re just signs. They might be annoying or represent something you really disagree with, but ultimately they’re just signs.
Got questions about signs? Want to find out more about local campaigns? Got to ElectionContender.com for more.